il ragno
01-27-2006, 01:37 PM
http://www.nydailynews.com/ips_rich_content/194-harass.JPG
The above pic, blown up to full-page dimensions, was the cover of yesterday's pull out section of the NY News' Sexual Harassment section, a how-to guide for gimlet-eyed twats in the secretarial pool looking to finance a condo without either working for it or fucking the boss. If the scenario in this photo, in which the miniskirted trollop is atop her boss' desk hiking up her skirt just enough to flaunt her mouse in his face, is now what constitutes "sexual harassment", then maybe the Balkanoids were right all along: let's drag em off into rape camps and teach 'em how the world really works.
Stand up to that jerk at work!
You're not going to quit, and you don't want a lawsuit ... here's how to really handle the office sleazebag
By CAITLIN KELLY
Sexual harassment can happen to anyone.
He hugs you too closely or too often. Maybe he "accidentally" brushes his hand against your butt in the elevator or spends an entire meeting staring at your breasts.
He's not just a creep. He's breaking the law. The only way to stop these losers - and they can be stopped - is to call them on it, loud and clear.
Former New York Knicks Vice President Anucha Browne Sanders says she did just that with Isiah Thomas, whom she has accused of even worse workplace trangressions.
Women like to be nice, but being nice can mean avoiding conflict by pretending offensive behavior isn't happening - when you both know it is.
Start by telling the offender, in plain words, to leave you alone.
Of course, the last thing a harassed woman wants to do is talk to the sleazeball, but you must. No matter how difficult it is to confront him, you have to do it.
"Tell them how you feel, and focus on what it does to you," advises employment-law attorney Derek Smith, a partner with Aiken & Smith LLC, a Manhattan law firm. "'I feel extremely uncomfortable when you use that language,' for example, makes it plain there's a problem."
Some women have to use force, literally. One female investment banker had a married colleague 14 years her elder who, when they were out for after-work drinks - something she assumed was a normal part of a Wall Street workday - tried to kiss her. She punched him in the face - and he still kept E-mailing her. "Luckily, he left the firm," she says.
Dorothy, a 24-year-old Manhattan editor, was harassed by a fellow employee in his 50s when she was 19 and working in a bookstore. "If it wasn't looking at me inappropriately," she recalls, "he was asking me about where I lived and saying things like, 'You must have lots of boyfriends.'" Her managers changed her schedule so they didn't work together, but today, Dorothy is older and wiser.
"I would speak up much sooner," she says.
Many workplaces, and most corporate ones, have an employee handbook that spells out their policy against sexual harassment. After you've told your aggressor to back off, and you've told your boss about it, take the matter to human resources.
Whatever you do, make sure to follow the instructions in your employee handbook (if your firm has one). If you fail to do so, and you later try to take your case to court, it may bar you from any further legal action.
Get as far away from the creep as possible by asking that he be transferred to another department, Smith suggests. "If you're satisfied, it ends there."
Women do win lawsuits against their harassers, but it can be a long, slow, complicated process - deciding whether to sue in city, state or federal court or deal with the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, for example. If you use the New York City Commission on Human Rights, a city agency, you can't win more than $200,000. If an incident occurs in any of the five boroughs, even if you're visiting from out of town, you can use this agency - start the process by calling 311.
Many lawyers, like Smith, take only cases - typically, just one in five - that they think they can win, working free for a percentage of the final award. Many attorneys will advise you at no charge.
But even the youngest and least powerful plaintiff can win. In 1995, a federal judge ordered Rudyard Pagan, then owner of a Manhattan restaurant, to pay $200,000 in back wages and damages to four young women who worked for him as waitresses, hostesses and bartenders and who endured his fondling and sexual overtures.
"It was draining me," said Nancy Urbina, then 25. "I felt so entrapped."
The women were typical in two respects: They were in their 20s and they worked in the restaurant industry, one notorious for such behavior. It is, after all, one in which scantily clad workers toil in dark, crowded settings, often with alcohol flowing.
Low-wage women who don't know the law, don't speak English and who fear any sort of legal trouble or government intervention will - unfairly, and despite the law - tolerate harassment, says Deborah Hong, program coordinator for the New York Asian Women's Center. "Many don't know their rights and wouldn't speak out," she says.
No matter their age, race or income level, women being sexually harassed often feel alone, desperate and exhausted.
"It eats at your soul," says Lauren Brenner, a former Wall Street trader embroiled in such a lawsuit. "You could be the strongest person in the world."
"I had one woman who ended up in the ER with a nervous breakdown," says Smith, who urges any woman in this situation to seek help from a therapist. "Women being harassed face such psychological trauma. You need professional help to cope with it."
Harassers count on intimidating their victims into silence, so share your experiences.
"No woman is alone in it," says one young victim. "It's awkward and awful to speak up, but if you can voice something, you can prevent it for other people."
Arm yourself with the right tools
The easiest way to nail a creepy co-worker - and protect yourself - is with an arsenal of high-powered tools. Here's what the experts recommend:
A wireless camera: If you get involved in a he-said, she-said with your employer, ask Human Resources to install a wireless camera in your office. Once they watch your cubemate rub up against you, the case will be closed.
Your employee handbook: Consider this your step-by-step guide to dealing with the slimeball - at least officially. Following your company's harassment policy, no matter how ridiculous, is critical, because ignoring it can hurt your potential lawsuit.
A tape recorder: Catch smarmy comments and catcalls on tape with a recorder. Mini tape decks cost as little as $20 and can be slipped into a pocket to slyly record the loose-lipped jerk.
A psychologist: Battling disgusting come-ons every day can quickly lead to a meltdown. Maintain your game face by seeking moral support from a professional.
A good attorney: Learn your rights and legal options by speaking with a lawyer. If you later decide to file suit, many attorneys will accept cases on contingency, which means it's free until you receive an award or settlement.
A journal: Keep a detailed log of the dirty dog's advances, including dates, times and other specifics. It may not be pleasant, but having a thorough record will help protect you.
Keep a camera in your desk: Snap pics of any nasty love letters, flowers or unsavory "gifts" the offender may give you. Remember, the more evidence you have, the stronger your case.
Beware high-risk jobs
The stereotype of Wall Street as a cauldron of sexual harassment holds some truth, attorneys say. But analysts and sales assistants are not the only targets. Wherever low-wage, undocumented workers are toiling, they are at risk of abuse.
Sexual harassment "runs the gamut of so many professions, it's hard to say which is the worst," says Liz Schalet, an employment attorney with the Lipman & Plesur firm. But ugly work environments tend to fall into two categories: male-dominated workplaces and small businesses that lack human resources departments and offer workers few if any protections:
Banks
Brokerage houses
Dry cleaners
Delis
Restaurants
Navigating the legal obstacle course
If you've been sexually harassed at work, there are federal, state and city laws to protect you. But are they practical? In theory, the laws offer reassurance, but there are reasons people don't use protections the laws afford.
Procedure: The victim should inform the harasser that the conduct is unwelcome and must stop. This is necessary so that both are on the same page.
Pitfall: "People will confront a [sexually improper] co-worker," says Manhattan employee-rights lawyer Sherri Eisenpress, "but very few people will confront a harasser if it's their boss, out of fear of reprisal."
Procedure: Use any complaint mechanism or grievance system available from your employer.
Pitfall: "You do need to have a complaint on record," says Manhattan employee-rights lawyer Robert B. Davis, who is in private practice. "But, in my experience, this becomes about the company protecting itself, not the employee. The wagons get circled. [The victim] is seen as the enemy." He adds, "Don't blindly trust HR [human resources] to take care of this for you. It's prudent to seek legal counsel." One referral source: National Employment Lawyers Association.
Procedure: If these methods are ineffective, the victim should contact the EEOC or similar state agency.
Pitfall: "The EEOC and other agencies are so overworked," says Eisenpress, "it can take a long time to get any results."
Tales from the sex files
Rubbing her the wrong way
Lindsay, 23, who works in fashion and lives in Manhattan, toiled at a well-known Italian family restaurant in upstate New York when she was 14. "The owner would rub up against me in the not-right way," she says. "He would say things like, 'You're looking good tonight.'" She says, "It was a joke, but it was also disgusting. You could feel certain parts of him on the back of you." This would happen "while bending over washing dishes" or taking orders, she says. He would even do it in front of his wife, who worked right next to him.
School for scandal
Dr. Rosetta Codling, 52, has been an English teacher at Flushing's Francis Lewis H.S. for 16 years. Codling said her harassment - all of it verbal - began in the late 1990s, when a male colleague began making comments about her body, sometimes within earshot of the principal. "The last time it happened," she recalls of an incident last month, "as I was entering the staff room, he said to a student, 'How would you like it if a teacher would go down on you?' and he looked at me as he entered the room. The time before that, I was talking to a young girl, and he'd say to anyone within earshot, 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' - saying that I was a whore. I haven't been able to go back to school since then." She says that though she tries, it has been virtually impossible to avoid the teacher because they have the same schedule. "My whole life revolved around avoiding this man."
A threat from the boss
"Every woman has experienced it," says postal worker Maribel, 48. "They'll say something about what you're wearing. If something is a little too fitted." She says it's common that, if she asks a male colleague to do her a job favor, he'll say, "'You know it's gonna cost you.' It bothers me more if it's a manager," she says. "It feels worse. It makes you think that if you don't go for their advances, they'll make things a little harder for you."
They mixed business and displeasure
Lauren Brenner, 32, is suing a small financial firm, where she worked for only a few months, for sexual harassment. She says, "Any time you would act a certain way about business, it would bring up your relationship, what you'd be like in bed. If you're trading and you're serious and adamant about something because you know it's the right way ... then there has to be a reference automatically to the men you must date and what you're like. Or maybe you're the exact opposite, and maybe you try to take it out at work. Or you're dominating or you're into the dominatrix thing. There's always a connotation of what you'd be like in your single life or in your dating life."
The above pic, blown up to full-page dimensions, was the cover of yesterday's pull out section of the NY News' Sexual Harassment section, a how-to guide for gimlet-eyed twats in the secretarial pool looking to finance a condo without either working for it or fucking the boss. If the scenario in this photo, in which the miniskirted trollop is atop her boss' desk hiking up her skirt just enough to flaunt her mouse in his face, is now what constitutes "sexual harassment", then maybe the Balkanoids were right all along: let's drag em off into rape camps and teach 'em how the world really works.
Stand up to that jerk at work!
You're not going to quit, and you don't want a lawsuit ... here's how to really handle the office sleazebag
By CAITLIN KELLY
Sexual harassment can happen to anyone.
He hugs you too closely or too often. Maybe he "accidentally" brushes his hand against your butt in the elevator or spends an entire meeting staring at your breasts.
He's not just a creep. He's breaking the law. The only way to stop these losers - and they can be stopped - is to call them on it, loud and clear.
Former New York Knicks Vice President Anucha Browne Sanders says she did just that with Isiah Thomas, whom she has accused of even worse workplace trangressions.
Women like to be nice, but being nice can mean avoiding conflict by pretending offensive behavior isn't happening - when you both know it is.
Start by telling the offender, in plain words, to leave you alone.
Of course, the last thing a harassed woman wants to do is talk to the sleazeball, but you must. No matter how difficult it is to confront him, you have to do it.
"Tell them how you feel, and focus on what it does to you," advises employment-law attorney Derek Smith, a partner with Aiken & Smith LLC, a Manhattan law firm. "'I feel extremely uncomfortable when you use that language,' for example, makes it plain there's a problem."
Some women have to use force, literally. One female investment banker had a married colleague 14 years her elder who, when they were out for after-work drinks - something she assumed was a normal part of a Wall Street workday - tried to kiss her. She punched him in the face - and he still kept E-mailing her. "Luckily, he left the firm," she says.
Dorothy, a 24-year-old Manhattan editor, was harassed by a fellow employee in his 50s when she was 19 and working in a bookstore. "If it wasn't looking at me inappropriately," she recalls, "he was asking me about where I lived and saying things like, 'You must have lots of boyfriends.'" Her managers changed her schedule so they didn't work together, but today, Dorothy is older and wiser.
"I would speak up much sooner," she says.
Many workplaces, and most corporate ones, have an employee handbook that spells out their policy against sexual harassment. After you've told your aggressor to back off, and you've told your boss about it, take the matter to human resources.
Whatever you do, make sure to follow the instructions in your employee handbook (if your firm has one). If you fail to do so, and you later try to take your case to court, it may bar you from any further legal action.
Get as far away from the creep as possible by asking that he be transferred to another department, Smith suggests. "If you're satisfied, it ends there."
Women do win lawsuits against their harassers, but it can be a long, slow, complicated process - deciding whether to sue in city, state or federal court or deal with the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, for example. If you use the New York City Commission on Human Rights, a city agency, you can't win more than $200,000. If an incident occurs in any of the five boroughs, even if you're visiting from out of town, you can use this agency - start the process by calling 311.
Many lawyers, like Smith, take only cases - typically, just one in five - that they think they can win, working free for a percentage of the final award. Many attorneys will advise you at no charge.
But even the youngest and least powerful plaintiff can win. In 1995, a federal judge ordered Rudyard Pagan, then owner of a Manhattan restaurant, to pay $200,000 in back wages and damages to four young women who worked for him as waitresses, hostesses and bartenders and who endured his fondling and sexual overtures.
"It was draining me," said Nancy Urbina, then 25. "I felt so entrapped."
The women were typical in two respects: They were in their 20s and they worked in the restaurant industry, one notorious for such behavior. It is, after all, one in which scantily clad workers toil in dark, crowded settings, often with alcohol flowing.
Low-wage women who don't know the law, don't speak English and who fear any sort of legal trouble or government intervention will - unfairly, and despite the law - tolerate harassment, says Deborah Hong, program coordinator for the New York Asian Women's Center. "Many don't know their rights and wouldn't speak out," she says.
No matter their age, race or income level, women being sexually harassed often feel alone, desperate and exhausted.
"It eats at your soul," says Lauren Brenner, a former Wall Street trader embroiled in such a lawsuit. "You could be the strongest person in the world."
"I had one woman who ended up in the ER with a nervous breakdown," says Smith, who urges any woman in this situation to seek help from a therapist. "Women being harassed face such psychological trauma. You need professional help to cope with it."
Harassers count on intimidating their victims into silence, so share your experiences.
"No woman is alone in it," says one young victim. "It's awkward and awful to speak up, but if you can voice something, you can prevent it for other people."
Arm yourself with the right tools
The easiest way to nail a creepy co-worker - and protect yourself - is with an arsenal of high-powered tools. Here's what the experts recommend:
A wireless camera: If you get involved in a he-said, she-said with your employer, ask Human Resources to install a wireless camera in your office. Once they watch your cubemate rub up against you, the case will be closed.
Your employee handbook: Consider this your step-by-step guide to dealing with the slimeball - at least officially. Following your company's harassment policy, no matter how ridiculous, is critical, because ignoring it can hurt your potential lawsuit.
A tape recorder: Catch smarmy comments and catcalls on tape with a recorder. Mini tape decks cost as little as $20 and can be slipped into a pocket to slyly record the loose-lipped jerk.
A psychologist: Battling disgusting come-ons every day can quickly lead to a meltdown. Maintain your game face by seeking moral support from a professional.
A good attorney: Learn your rights and legal options by speaking with a lawyer. If you later decide to file suit, many attorneys will accept cases on contingency, which means it's free until you receive an award or settlement.
A journal: Keep a detailed log of the dirty dog's advances, including dates, times and other specifics. It may not be pleasant, but having a thorough record will help protect you.
Keep a camera in your desk: Snap pics of any nasty love letters, flowers or unsavory "gifts" the offender may give you. Remember, the more evidence you have, the stronger your case.
Beware high-risk jobs
The stereotype of Wall Street as a cauldron of sexual harassment holds some truth, attorneys say. But analysts and sales assistants are not the only targets. Wherever low-wage, undocumented workers are toiling, they are at risk of abuse.
Sexual harassment "runs the gamut of so many professions, it's hard to say which is the worst," says Liz Schalet, an employment attorney with the Lipman & Plesur firm. But ugly work environments tend to fall into two categories: male-dominated workplaces and small businesses that lack human resources departments and offer workers few if any protections:
Banks
Brokerage houses
Dry cleaners
Delis
Restaurants
Navigating the legal obstacle course
If you've been sexually harassed at work, there are federal, state and city laws to protect you. But are they practical? In theory, the laws offer reassurance, but there are reasons people don't use protections the laws afford.
Procedure: The victim should inform the harasser that the conduct is unwelcome and must stop. This is necessary so that both are on the same page.
Pitfall: "People will confront a [sexually improper] co-worker," says Manhattan employee-rights lawyer Sherri Eisenpress, "but very few people will confront a harasser if it's their boss, out of fear of reprisal."
Procedure: Use any complaint mechanism or grievance system available from your employer.
Pitfall: "You do need to have a complaint on record," says Manhattan employee-rights lawyer Robert B. Davis, who is in private practice. "But, in my experience, this becomes about the company protecting itself, not the employee. The wagons get circled. [The victim] is seen as the enemy." He adds, "Don't blindly trust HR [human resources] to take care of this for you. It's prudent to seek legal counsel." One referral source: National Employment Lawyers Association.
Procedure: If these methods are ineffective, the victim should contact the EEOC or similar state agency.
Pitfall: "The EEOC and other agencies are so overworked," says Eisenpress, "it can take a long time to get any results."
Tales from the sex files
Rubbing her the wrong way
Lindsay, 23, who works in fashion and lives in Manhattan, toiled at a well-known Italian family restaurant in upstate New York when she was 14. "The owner would rub up against me in the not-right way," she says. "He would say things like, 'You're looking good tonight.'" She says, "It was a joke, but it was also disgusting. You could feel certain parts of him on the back of you." This would happen "while bending over washing dishes" or taking orders, she says. He would even do it in front of his wife, who worked right next to him.
School for scandal
Dr. Rosetta Codling, 52, has been an English teacher at Flushing's Francis Lewis H.S. for 16 years. Codling said her harassment - all of it verbal - began in the late 1990s, when a male colleague began making comments about her body, sometimes within earshot of the principal. "The last time it happened," she recalls of an incident last month, "as I was entering the staff room, he said to a student, 'How would you like it if a teacher would go down on you?' and he looked at me as he entered the room. The time before that, I was talking to a young girl, and he'd say to anyone within earshot, 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' - saying that I was a whore. I haven't been able to go back to school since then." She says that though she tries, it has been virtually impossible to avoid the teacher because they have the same schedule. "My whole life revolved around avoiding this man."
A threat from the boss
"Every woman has experienced it," says postal worker Maribel, 48. "They'll say something about what you're wearing. If something is a little too fitted." She says it's common that, if she asks a male colleague to do her a job favor, he'll say, "'You know it's gonna cost you.' It bothers me more if it's a manager," she says. "It feels worse. It makes you think that if you don't go for their advances, they'll make things a little harder for you."
They mixed business and displeasure
Lauren Brenner, 32, is suing a small financial firm, where she worked for only a few months, for sexual harassment. She says, "Any time you would act a certain way about business, it would bring up your relationship, what you'd be like in bed. If you're trading and you're serious and adamant about something because you know it's the right way ... then there has to be a reference automatically to the men you must date and what you're like. Or maybe you're the exact opposite, and maybe you try to take it out at work. Or you're dominating or you're into the dominatrix thing. There's always a connotation of what you'd be like in your single life or in your dating life."