VH1 Countdown: 100 Most Annoying Rockers - Ever!

[il ragno]

Hey, VH1 and E! are constantly running these bogus countdown shows – The 50 Hottest Celebrity Couples, The 40 Lamest Metal Videos Ever, The 100 Relatively Smartest Black Superstars - as alternatives to actual programs for years now. So let’s kick one off on our own – the however-high-you-can-count Vilest and Stupidest Fucking People in Music. I’ll start, but you can fill in the missing numbers yourselves.


# 85: HENRY ROLLINS. I can’t tell if he’s a fraud or not – I don’t think he is – but this guy annoys me beyond my ability to articulate. I could give a shit about his days in Black Flag or his spoken-word street poetry or whatever they’re calling that beatnik nonsense these days – is it necessary for him to be everywhere at once volunteering to be the unelected Spokesman For A Generation? And has anyone besides me noticed the soundbites he provides in his new career as The Tattooed Guy In The Documentary are the kind of dumbed-down puerilities even MAXIMUM ROCK’N’ROLL wouldn’t have allowed to see print. (A lot of fuck yeahs and fuck that shits, mostly. "Hardcore started when the guy in the parking lot with the tattoos who goes Fuck, yeah! got a guitar." Thanks for that, Hank, I'd been wondering about that a while.) Please shut the hell up, Rollins: I’m begging you. A thousand two-line walk-ons as the villain’s sullen henchman in a thousand direct-to-cable erotic thrillers awaits you. Don’t cheat Destiny.


# 52: ROB HALFORD. Forget for a minute that the Metal God likes to bite the pillow. His ability to write a halfway-interesting lyric receded faster than his hairline, his fetish for Village People seconds made Judas Priest a camp act long before they had any intention of being one, and his world-famous “high notes” sound like nothing less than an audio recording of someone being interrogated by the Mexican police. I watched a doc of the making of BRITISH STEEL and all I have to say is so much for the popular idea that homosexuals are smart and funny. I don’t mind a great singer being a dummy, like Paul Rodgers – you can’t ask for everything. But Halford’s just an okay-if-occasionally-excruciating voice to begin with, and a depressingly dim sort besides; the kind of guy who makes you cringe when he’s trying to sound well-mannered and intelligent because everyone but he can see the essential asshole still showing through the coat of varnish.


# 17: P-DIDDY. aka The Artist Formerly Known as Stop Or I’ll Shoot, Nigger! No words need be said – nobody on earth can understand exactly how this no-talent, flashbulb-whore cross of Huey Newton and Sabu could have possibly accrued half-a-billion dollars. Even rap fans think he’s an idiot. Doesn’t need to speak, utter a sound or peel a banana to radiate chimp stupidity. Only saving grace is the inevitable PUFFY DESTITUTE headlines sure to come, as nogs with $500 mill go broke with startling regularity somehow.


# 5 and 6: SHARON OSBOURNE, GENE SIMMONS. Though neither could ever be credibly called stupid – not in this world where smart means rich, and ethics are nice, but Ibiza is nicer – Sharon’s Jewish evil, and Gene’s Jewish-vulgarian grossness, merit special mention, and although they rate a special place high on this list, I like to think they’d’ve never made Schindler’s at all. They each represent a specific type of Jew – almost a distillation of Jewry, the metaChosen - who don’t deserve a sound thrashing, but a sound thrashing delivered by someone who continually harangues them as “dirty fucking Jews” as he pummels them. Because their Jewishness is so central to their awfulness.


# 2: BONO: Knocked Sting out of the top 20 years ago. Besides, have you seen Sting’s wife? (And I hear she’s a lipstick lez who sets up threeways for him besides. All for Gordon, all for Gordon!) Bono represents a thing that only Mick Jagger and David Bowie could ever hope to get away with (and even they’ve passed their sell-by dates): reinventing yourself however radically fashion dictates is enough to continue remaining cool to the kids as you grow older. If teenagers take to wearing garbage bags instead of pants tomorrow, trust Bono to be punching leg holes in a Hefty Steel-Sak tomorrow night. Honestly that’s the gheyest part of the superstar business….all the costume changes and hair-stylist bills in the effort to stay ‘relevant’. Goddamn it, strut and preen throughout your appointed hour upon the stage if you want, but after that have the integrity to remain yourself and risk looking outmoded and in the way. You can't toss your hair to and fro like Robert Plant in vinyl parachute pants tonight and then lecture the rest of us on third-world debt relief in the morning, you clown. Plus you can tell he really gets off on being Jesse Jackson II. I’m sure writing and playing music is a chore for him now – part of the price to be paid to continue gently chiding Presidents and Prime Ministers as the plane begin its descent into Nairobi International.

[Jimbo Gomez]

There's someone worse than Bono? That just has to be Eminem, noone else comes even close to being as obnoxious as Bono.

[il ragno]

Well since I want others to participate, I didn't wanna hog all the top spots.

[Kodos]

There's someone worse than Bono? That just has to be Eminem, noone else comes even close to being as obnoxious as Bono.

Eminem is much less obnoxious then Bono, like South Park there are right wing undertones to Eminem...

[sainte-marthe]

Move over De Maistre and Burke, Eminem is now the great articulator of conservatism.


EDIT Didn't he make a song about why people should vote Democrat? Is that right wing?

[Kodos]

Move over De Maistre and Burke, Eminem is now the great articulator of conservatism.


EDIT Didn'tmake a song about why people should vote Democrat? Is that right wing?

Haven't heard that, I was referring to his songs about how ghetto life and single mother families suck( and that parents don't watch and discipline their kids today etc).

[sainte-marthe]

On further consideration, lyrics like


Cursin at you players worse than Marty Schottenheimer
You wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from
You ain't gonna sell two copies if you press a double album
Admit it, fuck it, while we comin out in the open
I'm doin acid, crack, smack, coke and smokin dope then
My name is Marshall Mathers, I'm an alcoholic (Hi Marshall)
I have a disease and they don't know what to call it
Better hide your wallet cause I'm comin up quick to strip your cash
Bought a ticket to your concert just to come and whip your ass

bring out a fascistic desire for censorship. Maybe you're right.

[Thomas777]

#10-Ozzy Osbourne: Ozzy is a a mentally retarded carnie who laid down some decent tracks with a passably listenable (through wildly overrated) doom/blues outfit in Black Sabbath. Since then, he has become the living embodiment of the pathetic state of the genre formerly known as "rock n roll". I don't know what is worse...watching Ozzy make his scary, boogyman faces while lip-syncing some faggotized, synthesized power ballad or watching leigons of White Trash rejects revel in the "greatness" that is Ozzy while enthusiastically gulping down $15 beers at "Ozzfest".

#75-Phil Anselmo: The ultimate poseur, Phil has recently begun dressing up as Varg Vikernes and tossing about nihilistic proclamations about "true Black Metal". Formerly, this assbag reinvented himself as a Roger Miret-esque skinhead, a Chris Barnes-esqe death metal redneck, and who can forget his original incarnation as a Brett Michaels look-alike, cock-rocker extraordinaire. Phil cannot open his mouth without slipping in a poseur catchphrase or a Hollywood rock n roll cliche. What is worse, is that Anselmo seems to genuienly believe his own hype...and is incapable of understanding that we are in fact laughing AT him.

#1-Zach De La Rocha: A rat-faced twit who never really picked up on the irony of shilling $25.00 cds for Warner Brothers while claiming to support Marxist-Leninism. This guy reigned supreme around 1998-1999, filling college event centers full of rich White kids eager to sing along to poorly written drivel about how they are the Devil and are oppressing Zach's turd-colored brethren. The classic Zach De La Rocha moment was when he and Tom Morello did an MTV documentary where they were visiting Leon Trotsky's home in exile and praising the merits of Bolshevism while drinking "powerade" sports drink as part of an MTV cross promotion. You are a true son of October, Zach...keep it up.

[Kodos]

I always kinda thought they were kinda funny Robin...

[ironweed]

I thought that piece that somebody posted years ago here that Henry Rollins wrote on weightlifting was actually some decent writing. Wish I'd saved it. :(

Beyond that, being a rock/pop/rap star and being a dingleberry go together like Liberace and flamboyant clothing. You're just not going to find one without the other.

[il ragno]

You know, Zach would make an excellent #1. Good work, Thomas.

[Count Eustace II]

The singer from Coldplay, Chris Martin, annoys me. Another Bono prototype waiting to pick up the cause of saving every non-white on the planet while Britain and Ireland gather up as many Africans and Asians as they possibly can.

[Generator]

Rollins and Halford are annoying, but not in any way up there in the pantheon alongside Puff Daddy or whatever the fuck he calls himself nowadays, Sharon Osborne and Zack de la Rocha.

And as for Ozzy - as Kerry King observed, a man who doesn’t show up to even his own “Ozzfest” but is more than happy to curtsy to the queen at her jubilee.

It is a real shame that Bono and Sting have painted themselves into the vacuous-celebrity-on-moral-crusade parody corner - their bands were genuinely talented and had a lot to offer (ie U2 and The Police.)

[Pablo Escobar]

Puff Daddy is the most annoying.

Though, one can ignore him when he appears on TV,
one cannot ignore Bono... this man's voice and rhetoric hits some wrong frequency with my brain.

[il ragno]

Rollins and Halford are annoying, but not in any way up there in the pantheon alongside Puff Daddy or whatever the fuck he calls himself nowadays, Sharon Osborne and Zack de la Rocha.

True, which is why they were numbered so high.

[Anima Eternae]

Sharon Osborne deserves a spot in the top ten, simply by virtue of her audacity to fuck with Maiden on tour.

[Generator]

True, which is why they were numbered so high.
Oh yeah, we have a ranking system - didn't quite notice that one. In that case, I would shift both Osbornes and Fucked Daddy into higher places, maybe downgrade Zack to 10th since no one other than idiot yuppie-to-bes really ever took him seriously anyway. Bono stays where he is.

And how can one forget that urban poet Will Smith? :rofl: Top 15, at least.

[Jimbo Gomez]

Gwen Stefani, that whiggerputa always gets on my nerves.

[Generator]

Gwen Stefani, that whiggerputa always gets on my nerves.
Of course - move over, Diddy, there is a shoe in for #1 if ever I saw one.

However, she may not quite make the grade; I mean, some of the peeps on Ragno's list have fashioned being a dickhead into a fine art through decades of practice - I give Gwenny girl another 2 years before she even comes close to their levels of enduring annoyingness.

[Jimbo Gomez]

Of course - move over, Diddy, there is a shoe in for #1 if ever I saw one.

However, she may not quite make the grade; I mean, some of the peeps on Ragno's list have fashioned being a dickhead into a fine art through decades of practice - I give Gwenny girl another 2 years before she even comes close to their levels of enduring annoyingness.


Well, yeah I guess, but you have to admit she has the raw talent of obnoxiousness in abundance.

[Generator]

Well, yeah I guess, but you have to admit she has the raw talent of obnoxiousness in abundance.
True. The said talent seems to have grown exponentially since the No Doubt "I'm just a girl" days, where she contented herself playing the cutesy bubble gum punka grrrl. It all went downhill from those days.

How you go downhill from rock-bottom, I don't know.

[Kamandi]

"Hardcore started when the guy in the parking lot with the tattoos who goes Fuck, yeah! got a guitar." Thanks for that, Hank, I'd been wondering about that a while.)
^^ Its comparative pithiness as a sound bite notwithstanding, it's at the very least most likely true. Take Jeffrey Lee Pierce of The Gun Club or the guys from The Exploited, for example.

[Generator]

^^ Its comparative pithiness as a sound bite notwithstanding, it's at the very least most likely true. Take Jeffrey Lee Pierce of The Gun Club or the guys from The Exploited, for example.
Yes, but to harp on about it incessantly? Don't get me wrong, Rollins is a clever guy, capable of an incisive wit. I like some of his spoken word stuff and Black Flag is...well...Black Flag! It's just his unashamed ubiquitousness that begins to wear off on you.

Compare him to Wattie from the Exploited - a true Scot: endearingly drunk and obnoxious, otherwise anonymous!:D

[Kamandi]

Ubiquitous? Occasionally I see him in a B movie like Judge Dredd or, more frequently, at the Pescado Mojado on La Brea in LA. I'd hardly call his status "ubiquity."

It's not like he's Paris Hilton or the Olsen Twins.

[Generator]

Ubiquitous? Occasionally I see him in a B movie like Judge Dredd or, more frequently, at the Pescado Mojado on La Brea in LA. I'd hardly call his status "ubiquity."

It's not like he's Paris Hilton or the Olsen Twins.
Speaking relatively of course...

[Vindex]

Should put icp on there, being younger and forced to be around wiggers when there strange clown/horror/rap stuff was famous was a pain. And if it would make the list this dank'o jones, awhile ago a friend went to a show with different bands and told me this danko spent a good section of his time slot ranting about how great he is, from what I have seen he is a mix breed with hype. And kid rock for mainly the same reasons. And that lenni kravits thing, for many reasons.

I watched part of a movie called "Purple Rain" on tv once and after that was left with the understanding this nutty Prince should be on that list, or the list of guess the Race and sexual orientation not to mention lack of talent. I think he was a micheal jackson prototype. And the Beatles all of them, thank the gods a race mixing jesus freak shot the one. I guess they can be handy for some stuff.

[Kamandi]

Okay, compared to Hugh Cornwell or Peter Murphy, he's "ubiquitous."

[Generator]

Okay, compared to Hugh Cornwell or Peter Murphy, he's "ubiquitous."
Was it you who has actually interacted with Rollins, Kam?

[Kamandi]

My Wife: "Henry Rollins!"

Henry Rollins: "Yeah, gotta eat."

[il ragno]

Ubiquitous? Occasionally I see him in a B movie like Judge Dredd or, more frequently, at the Pescado Mojado on La Brea in LA. I'd hardly call his status "ubiquity."

You ain't looking hard enough. I'd had enough when I saw him playing Rod Serling in that lame horror series he did...but he was just beginning. Since then he's had another tv series, and appears in every counterculture documentary ever shot. I'm waiting to inevitably see him pitching software in commercials, if he hasn't already begun. All this and two tours of Iraq (he's very much pro-War on Terror, for all the wrong reasons).

Like I said, he's not Bono. Yet. But he is annoying. Very annoying. And he hasn't figured out yet that you can only be taken so seriously after 40 if you're covered with tattoos.

[leondegrance]

I have to disagree with Rob Halford. Judas Priest was one of those bands I grew up with in the '80's and I got to see them live (for the first time) last summer. I think their latest album since the reunion is very good.

Halford coming out of the closet is not very good for a heavy metal frontman. I've read somewhere that he has a high-genius IQ.

[Jimbo Gomez]

Priest is helluva cool, too bad that their singer was a filthy sodomite.

[Intrepid]

Well, if we ever do form up our own mobile Einsatzgruppen squads in '52 Chevy pickups, laden with a kegs of Newkie Brown and fully-auto toys, these were individuals that were bandied about for treatment:

http://www.bobmayo.net/images/rolling_stone_peter_frampton.jpg http://researchpubs.com/images/rc1_promopix/rc1_jb_lesb.jpghttp://www.featheredback.com/men/shaun_cassidy1a.jpg
http://www.oldies.com/images/boxart/large/9/090431987124.jpg http://x66.xanga.com/7fc88a461403114367417/b5361352.jpg

I might add, all previous choices met with my seal of approval, as well.

[Kamandi]

Frampton's a great guitarist, so I'd spare him from your protocol. For the rest, agree fully. :cool:

[Kamandi]

You ain't looking hard enough. I'd had enough when I saw him playing Rod Serling in that lame horror series he did...but he was just beginning. Since then he's had another tv series, and appears in every counterculture documentary ever shot.
That's a bit of an exaggeration, but they do tend to use him as the "voice of modern punk."

Like I said, he's not Bono. Yet. But he is annoying. Very annoying. And he hasn't figured out yet that you can only be taken so seriously after 40 if you're covered with tattoos.
What exactly do you think he can do about that, Ragno? That decision was made a long time ago.

[Dan Dare]

Did anyone mention Brian May yet?

I can still him picture standing on the roof of Buckingham Palace belting out God Save the Queen as though he was expecting Freddy to descend at any moment.

If you don't believe me, it's the opening segment on the "Proms at the Palace" DVD.

[il ragno]

Brian May is channelling Sammy Maudlin these days. I'd seen Queen a few times back in the day and May kept quiet as a mummy while Mecury was fronting the band. Who knew that once he finally began talking, he'd forget to stop?

What exactly do you think he can do about that, Ragno? That decision was made a long time ago.
Nothing to be done. That's also why you shouldn't have a clown suit grafted onto your body either, even if everybody else is. Because it's going to be so terribly unfair when nobody takes your brilliant insights seriously years later because of your Bozo skin.

[Kamandi]

Again, a great guitarist and a PhD in Astronomy as well. :)

Maybe the British find him more trying than us Yanks, I don't know.

[Generator]

Did anyone mention Brian May yet?

I can still him picture standing on the roof of Buckingham Palace belting out God Save the Queen as though he was expecting Freddy to descend at any moment.

If you don't believe me, it's the opening segment on the "Proms at the Palace" DVD.
Hackneyed, yes, but are such isolated antics worthy of inclusion in The List? For how long has May being commiting such massacres of good taste? Isn't he normally reserved, tucked away in one of his many country estates?

PS He's an awesome guitarist.

[Kamandi]

I like the fact that he still plays that guitar he and his dad built from a bannister when he was 15. :D

[Intrepid]

Frampton's a great guitarist, so I'd spare him from your protocol. For the rest, agree fully. :cool:

True. However, his inclusion is related primarily to a story I recall Strummer recounting in a radio interview. That is, while maligning the general Rock 'n' roll god ethos of the late '70s. Something along the lines of how playing on certain antique Persian carpets enhanced his guitar playing ability, or some such blather.

[Kamandi]

Hmmmm...sounds like something Pete Townshend would say...

[Starr]

I can't click on the link. I am hoping Aerosmith/Steven Tyler is in there. Worst band ever. Their music sucks and he is hideously ugly. God, i hate them.

I couldn't agree more with Bono. The music of U2(the earlier stuff anyway) is not too bad. But his "we are the world" and "save the starving Africans" shit is beyond annoying.

I don't mind Henry Rollins. He is almost good looking too. great body:hump:

[Intrepid]

I can't click on the link. I am hoping Aerosmith/Steven Tyler is in there. Worst band ever. Their music sucks and he is hideously ugly. God, i hate them.


Really? While it's obvious I'm not a fan of '70s rock, there are some great tunes on their first four albums though Rocks.

[sugartits]

I can't stand the Black Eyed Peas. Two reasons: "Don't Phunk With My Heart" and "My Humps". But that's probably just because I can't dance or afford to own Baby Phat merchandise.

[tricknologist]

I can't stand the Black Eyed Peas. Two reasons: "Don't Phunk With My Heart" and "My Humps". But that's probably just because I can't dance or afford to own Baby Phat merchandise.

Prior to this post, I was not aware that I had heard the Black Eyed Peas before. Ignorance was bliss while it lasted.

[Starr]

Really? While it's obvious I'm not a fan of '70s rock, there are some great tunes on their first four albums though Rocks.


Even if they do have a couple of not so bad songs, here and there, that does not excuse the fact that they are the worst band ever.:D

I remember reading that Steven Tyler said that "nigger" is the most hurtful word there is and that he wants to cry every time he hears it. There was also something in the article about kids at his school telling him he had "nigger lips" LMWAO.

Doesn't Aerosmith also share at least some of the blame for blending the whole rap/rock genres with that RUN DMC song?

[OVERWATCH]

I can't click on the link. I am hoping Aerosmith/Steven Tyler is in there. Worst band ever. Their music sucks and he is hideously ugly. God, i hate them.

I couldn't agree more with Bono. The music of U2(the earlier stuff anyway) is not too bad. But his "we are the world" and "save the starving Africans" shit is beyond annoying.

I don't mind Henry Rollins. He is almost good looking too. great body:hump:

Ugh. Steven Tyler. I saw Aerosmith twice, :o once around in '86 (because Ozzy was playing), and other time in the mid nineties, but the only reason I went this second time was because the girl I was dating at the time loved them. :rolleyes: I like most of the earlier Aerosmith stuff I've heard (i.e. the more well known stuff from the late 70ies), but I utterly despise everything they've done since their "comeback", especially 'dude looks like a lady', and 'Jamie's got a gun' which cosmically SUX.

I used to listen to Black Flag and Rollins but the whole "I'm a psychologically damaged and tortured toughguy/secret puttytat" is nothing but a downer.

I like a lot of U2's older sounds, even though it reminds me of obnoxious college parties and LIVE AIDS.

In response, someone should form an imperialist, capitalist protest band, the antithesis of U2*, to be named B2**

* recon aircraft
** stealth bomber

[Intrepid]

Even if they do have a couple of not so bad songs, here and there, that does not excuse the fact that they are the worst band ever.:D

I remember reading that Steven Tyler said that "nigger" is the most hurtful word there is and that he wants to cry every time he hears it. There was also something in the article about kids at his school telling him he had "nigger lips" LMWAO.

Doesn't Aerosmith also share at least some of the blame for blending the whole rap/rock genres with that RUN DMC song?

All true, especially how hideous the ol' blubber-lipped alien is, lest we forget his fruity outfits and 8,000 scarves. Like most kids my age, though, I remember having Toys in the Attic and Rocks in my LP stack. Good, straight, ballsy R'n'R. It's not my bag, but it holds up pretty well against time, I think. The fact that they later boogied with nogs and became a parody of those who emulated them is pretty fuggin' sad, that's for sure.

Still, we're talking the absolute worst, and they were certainly better than the other wretched jagoffs filling stadiums at the time, however. I mean, we are talkin' of the likes of Foreigner, Boston, Yes, Toto, Journey, Styx, Kansas, REO Speedwagon... and other horrible variants of hessian pop rock. :p

[OVERWATCH]

Steven Tyler is a mutant hybrid between Don Knotts and Mick Jagger.

[Starr]

LOL. I would say he is closer to a monkey/Mick Jagger mix.

Another annoying presence(don't know if he is in there), Eddie Vedder. Something about his, "I hate being famous"(sure:rolleyes: ) crapola always bugged the hell out of me. Not to even mention that like most other celebs he is ultra liberal and whiny, girly, and incredibly feminine. Every time I see him or hear a Pearl Jam song I have an overwelming urge to slap him around a bit.

[OVERWATCH]

Speaking of ultra-liberal, whiny, feminine girly-men....

I hereby nominate Jane's Addiction as my pick for the #1 suckola of rock-n-roll.

[OVERWATCH]

Speaking of ultra-liberal, whiny, feminine girly-men....

I hereby nominate Jane's Addiction as my pick for the #1 suckola of rock-n-roll.

PS, I didn't know who Eddie Vedder is, until I looked him up and find he's the singer for Girl Jam.

PPS oops, meant edit, not reply :o

[Jimbo Gomez]

So many thousands of fine candidates for so few positions in our honour roll. :D

[Atlas]

What about Scott Weiland ?

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/universal_pictures/the_hulk/scott_weiland/hulkpre.jpg

[Starr]

That is not the best picture, but I can overlook some annoyances if the person in question is as hot as Scott(minus his drugged out heroin look)

Like the rest of them, he is a whiny, girly man also, though.

[Jimbo Gomez]

Who is Scott Weiland?

[il ragno]

All true, especially how hideous the ol' blubber-lipped alien is, lest we forget his fruity outfits and 8,000 scarves. Like most kids my age, though, I remember having Toys in the Attic and Rocks in my LP stack. Good, straight, ballsy R'n'R. It's not my bag, but it holds up pretty well.

Those two albums are off-limits to carping. Dump on them all you like for what came after, though (I didn't even like DONE WITH MIRRORS, seeing how the best cut was recycled from The Joe Perry Project to start with.)

Still, we're talking the absolute worst, and they were certainly better than the other wretched jagoffs filling stadiums at the time, however. I mean, we are talkin' of the likes of Foreigner, Boston, Yes, Toto, Journey, Styx, Kansas, REO Speedwagon... and other horrible variants of hessian pop rock.

So help me, I'm not gonna put on my schoolmarm shoes to chide or correct you here...just to insert a few asterisks.

*I know better than to try to sell Yes to hostile ears but you can't credibly call FRAGILE, CLOSE TO THE EDGE, TFTO and RELAYER 'pop rock'. Yes, even though FRAGILE had two monster hit singles, they sounded like nothing else on the radio at the time - laws of probability state that every now and then even the radio's gonna get it right, even (especially?) if it is by accident.

*Journey's first, pre-Steve Perry album is surprisingly terrific. Hey, would I lie about a thing like that? I know what awful repercussions praising Journey can precipitate.

*Kansas, having A- emerged just as punk was firing its first shot across the bow, and B- being signed to Kirshner International (yes, that is Kirshner as in the infamous DON KIRSHNER'S ROCK CONCERT, and has any leisure-suited kike ever hogged the spotlight in a title more shamelessly?), never did and never will get a fair shake from critics, but their crossing of progressive and hard rock can legitimately be viewed as an important precursor to today's prog-metal. It's true they had their poppy moments, but who didn't who wanted to sell records back then? The singer was first-rate, the ratio of cool to poppy music was about 4:1, and any band that Steve Morse later joins has to have something going for 'em.

Everybody else on your list sucks dog-balls, and props their head up on pillows to avoid neck strain while finishing Fido off.

[Atlas]

Who is Scott Weiland?

Singer, he leaded a group back in the 90's and is now leader of another one. He was accused of copying some bands like Alice in Chains... he made a very nice version of "but not tonight" from Depeche Mode, his only decent song IMO. Aside from that, he is a rebel drug user who has been arrested many times by cops. Bad guy who is quite popular among girls.

More : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Weiland

[Intrepid]

Those two albums are off-limits to carping. Dump on them all you like for what came after, though (I didn't even like DONE WITH MIRRORS, seeing how the best cut was recycled from The Joe Perry Project to start with.)

No doubt, there's gems on everything through Night in the Ruts, I think. No Surprize is a top fiver for me.

So help me, I'm not gonna put on my schoolmarm shoes to chide or correct you here...just to insert a few asterisks.

*I know better than to try to sell Yes to hostile ears but you can't credibly call FRAGILE, CLOSE TO THE EDGE, TFTO and RELAYER 'pop rock'. Yes, even though FRAGILE had two monster hit singles, they sounded like nothing else on the radio at the time - laws of probability state that every now and then even the radio's gonna get it right, even (especially?) if it is by accident.

*Journey's first, pre-Steve Perry album is surprisingly terrific. Hey, would I lie about a thing like that? I know what awful repercussions praising Journey can precipitate.

*Kansas, having A- emerged just as punk was firing its first shot across the bow, and B- being signed to Kirshner International (yes, that is Kirshner as in the infamous DON KIRSHNER'S ROCK CONCERT, and has any leisure-suited kike ever hogged the spotlight in a title more shamelessly?), never did and never will get a fair shake from critics, but their crossing of progressive and hard rock can legitimately be viewed as an important precursor to today's prog-metal. It's true they had their poppy moments, but who didn't who wanted to sell records back then? The singer was first-rate, the ratio of cool to poppy music was about 4:1, and any band that Steve Morse later joins has to have something going for 'em.

Everybody else on your list sucks dog-balls, and props their head up on pillows to avoid neck strain while finishing Fido off.


No probs. It's just I've a good 10-12 - bare minimum - classic Aerosmith riffs permanently lodged upstairs that just did a double-take at hearing worst associated with them, you know. Hence the quick, generalized list of Arena rockers, all of whom are in a different league - hell, different planet - than these lads' portfolio in the '70s. I'll defer to you on some of these bands' material being palatable, as my memory is cursory at best with most of them, and our tastes are quite different. And it's not the poppy angle, as I love a well-crafted, slightly off kilter pop tune. It was simply a matter, I never liked these people with huge spaceships or dragons as backdrops/props, nor their gray matter-draining music, playing where I normally watched the Dodgers' games.

[Pablo Escobar]

What about Scott Weiland ?

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/universal_pictures/the_hulk/scott_weiland/hulkpre.jpg


WTF!?

He looks completely different every time I see him.
What happened to him since his transformations in 1992 and 2001 ?

Did he do plastic surgery + 'roin ?

[Kodos]

Gwen Stefani, that whiggerputa always gets on my nerves.

If she dropped the whiggachicka act she could actually do well since I sense some underlying talent( except when I hear "hey baby"... really annoying song).

[Jaybird]

# 5 and 6: SHARON OSBOURNE, GENE SIMMONS.
Gene/Kiss used to be at the #2 spot on my "Worst Bands Ever" list behind Aerosmith, simply for the fact that no one would ever accuse them of making good music. They were a band simply for the sake of getting laid. I mean, no chick is gonna screw some jew in platforms and face paint, unless of course, he's carrying a guitar.
Then I saw he had some reality show where he was trying to teach these little limey kids how to play rock and roll and lecturing them on what rock "really is". I might have to reconsider his ranking.

Gwen Stefani, that whiggerputa always gets on my nerves.
She used to screw that wog from No Doubt too.

What about Scott Weiland ?
Nice call. When he was the lead singer of Pearl Ja...er...Stone Temple Pilots he was basically fronting a glorified cover band, as well as consistently ripping off other bands for "original material". The guitar in "Sex Type Thing" is an exact rip-off of Danzig's "Snakes of Christ". But good to see he's doing his own thing now with Velvet 'N Roses...er...Guns 'N Revolver.
On another note, any man who wears women's low-rise jeans to show off that muscle in between his crotch and belly button shall immediately have his sexuality questioned.

Okay, now for some that people have missed:

Bruce Springsteen/Little Stevie
Who in the hell does this guy think he is? Electric Dylan? More like Michael Moore with a guitar. Note to all rockers everywhere: Giving a fuck is not cool.
And Little Steven. Forget the tye-dye. Forget the headbands. Forget the annoying cool musician guy voice. Even forget his stands against apartheid. Silvio is the worst character on the Sopranos.

Moby
I have to admit to not having heard much of his music (the little I have I didn't like), but can somebody abort this fetus/man, please? We all know you're a nerd, nobody's debating that. But when your anithesis Eminem, a douchebag wigger, punks you out all you can offer is a nervous mealymouthed response? Grow a pair, man. You can always bank on the one thing certain in nerd vs. bully fights: More people will talk shit about Eminem for fighting you in the first place.

Alan Jackson, Clint Black, Toby Keith, and anybody else who did a song about 9-11/Iraq
While not rockers, they need to be included. Capitalizing off thousands of deaths with songs like "I-raq and Roll" and "Put a Boot in Your Ass"? This is what happens when Jews move to Nashville.

David Lee Roth
Another guy who made quite a career out of singing karaoke. Can somebody get this guy a valium? I will never, ever, forgive you for that one video where you shoved your thonged, spandexed ass into the camera. I felt...violated.
You should've just faded away after Van Halen, gone out on top. But no. 20 years later, you're still here. Balding, pulling groin muscles on stage, even getting screwed by your former bandmates again, on TV no less. I am anxiously awaiting you to appear on Season 26 of The Surreal Life.

Madonna
From Detroit dago-trash to Material Girl to Lusty Latina to transexual English hag, need I say more? She fucked Vanilla Ice for Christ sakes.

[Generator]

David Lee Roth
Another guy who made quite a career out of singing karaoke. Can somebody get this guy a valium? I will never, ever, forgive you for that one video where you shoved your thonged, spandexed ass into the camera. I felt...violated.
You should've just faded away after Van Halen, gone out on top. But no. 20 years later, you're still here. Balding, pulling groin muscles on stage, even getting screwed by your former bandmates again, on TV no less. I am anxiously awaiting you to appear on Season 26 of The Surreal Life.

Madonna
From Detroit dago-trash to Material Girl to Lusty Latina to transexual English hag, need I say more? She fucked Vanilla Ice for Christ sakes.

Quality picks. How could I forget Madonna - the ultimate non-entity who for some reason has been allowed to become a "generational cincture" in music. Fucking awful.

PS You forgot to add "Responsible Social Commentator", "Theological Authority" and "Disco Queen" to Madonnas many pathetic and oh-so-transparent guises.

[il ragno]

Another killer post, Jay. Make some noise for Jay Jay the Jizackass, y'all! Fifth Ward reppa-zentin’!

But I'm surprised nobody's added the following first-ballot Hall of Shamers, although I’ve tossed in a couple of second-stringers, too - mainly to pad out the word count and make myself feel like a big man. Speaking of which, I’ve decided that my liner notes this time will be sung to the tune of Mentzer.

SLASH
What is it? Surely it must be English.

Those of its simian features which may be discerned speak of the wild jungle Negro and the plotting khazar. This is fact, nothing more.

The wild, mating-ape shriek of the solo from “Locomotive” excites me.

Yet it is false excitement, the sorcery of Jew-Negro English girl-men seeking to ensnare my kinsmen..

Is this what you English hope to conquer us with? Cousin Itt?

No, outlander dog.

My people are German people. My beer is Rheingold. The dry beer.

Ask for Rheingold wherever you buy beer.

I store tears of laughter behind steely Aryan irises.

You are fools. And you are doomed.

The homosexual Churchill shit his trousers in fear of us. This is a matter not for discussion.

Mentzer


PRINCE
My people are warriors. Who fought and died for Fatherland.

You will not despoil the ground they bled upon, simpering Negro-with-eyeliner.

Whether you are man, or woman, matters not to me. Nor to those of my blood.

You have grown rich and sleek, manwoman. You have fed well of the weak-minded and deviant.

Those on drugs; those of the homosex.

You seek to bend the Nordic will to your fey purpose.

Know this, though. You will fail.

And you will taste the German earth upon warrior’s boots, puny rhesus monkey.

For tonight my comrades and I party like it’s 1939.

Mentzer


CELINE DION
Stovepipe woman, your voice is sweet. It is as the valkyrie’s cry. Good for cooling a man’s blood.

The elevator ride is pleasant. You have made it thus.

If you had but a little more on top – but no.

You are sickly and thin. Fit for the night-time boys. The easily-defeated French perhaps.

I do not presume to know of such tastes.

But never a German man. You are not of us.

For this, I pity you.

Mentzer


PAUL STANLEY
Another female Englishman, I see.

Of what race is this one? I grip Google’s soft, decadent throat.

I demand an answer. It is Jewish.

Of course.

Jew man, is the donning of female powders and emollients soothing to you? Then you are not a man.

For either one is man or one is not. And when you speak, the tinkling music of the English queer-boy prickles my scalp.

Mentzer


DAVID COVERDALE
This one claims he is of the White Snake.

Yet when opens his mouth, follows the howl of the failed Negro of Albion.

Yet is that not the deviant nature of the English – to seek always to be Negroes?

I am German. I am Strength. I am not English.

I sing the songs of my ancestors in the cool forests where Siegfried urinated against mighty oaks. I know of moose hair, not hair mousse.

Is this love? No, Englishman. I have no love for defectives.

In the still of the night, I will come for you. Driving a tank.

Mentzer


TED NUGENT
Him, I like.

Steve McQueen was a man.

Here is another such.

Make of this what you will.

Mentzer

[Petr]

Are you smoking something funny, ragman? :p


Petr

[Atlas]

CELINE DION

She's quebecer, fair enough. Eat poutine, don't get your damn independance and shut the fuck up !

[il ragno]

Are you smoking something funny, ragman? :p


Petr

Hey, don't sell me that short, Petr. I can do Mentzer in my sleep by now.

[Starr]

Mentzer

Are you referring to that guy from original dissent?

[Blaphbee]

Il ragno, that was fantastic. I just fell off my chair.

[il ragno]

Are you referring to that guy from original dissent?

Why? Are there two of them?!?

[Ahknaton]

Il ragno, that was fantastic. I just fell off my chair.
Agreed. It had me giggling like an effette English queer-boy.

Homeboy Mentzer is da chronic teutonic y'all!

[Starr]

Is Mentzer some kind of poet or something? I asked him about his strange writing style a couple of times and he ignored me. Why does he always call everyone a homosexual? He called me queer boy(or something along those lines) a few times before he figured out I was a female.:p

[sainte-marthe]

Does mentzer still post there? And was he invited here? I'd like to see an exchange like:

Of all Africans, I respect but few

Refer to, James Brown

Godfather of Soul

Feels Good

True?

Black and "Proud"

[il ragno]

Does mentzer still post there? And was he invited here?

Dunno but it's certainly worth a shot.

I can't ask him, though - you know he hates me something fierce.

[Jimbo Gomez]

Someone please invite him. They can have out TGM in exchange.

I don't think there's a single soul alive on the Phora who'd object to that bargain.

[Jaybird]

Another killer post, Jay. Make some noise for Jay Jay the Jizackass, y'all! Fifth Ward reppa-zentin’!
Props to my homies and rappin' midgets from da Eastside.
http://www.keef.net/images/200403/ghetto-boys.jpg
Much love from the Dirty Third
http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/9/9/5/9/7539599.jpg

Anyhow, this next guy has to be Top 5 at least. How could we forget?

Lars Ulrich/Metallica
Before Metallica, I thought it was only possible to sell your soul once. Boy, was I wrong.
So you ditched all your diehard fans for teeny-boppers with the Black Album. That's fine. After almost ten years, anybody would want a little recognition. And you did the right thing, laid low for a while, let the dust settle. But after 5 years, the best you could come up with was the appropriately-titled "Load"? You know an album sucks when people care more about the length of your hair than about your music.
Flash forward a few years and quite a few million dollars later. After being reduced to playing Hollywood soundtracks, you decide to sue your very own fans. How rock and roll is that? Not very. Guess you forgot about those "Losers' Lunch" days when all your recordings were bootlegs?
Then, instead of having a fist fight, you decided to hire a band psychologist (wtf?) for over a year so you could bitch and moan at each other. And you decided to videotape this sad display to make a buck?! The scenes of Lars nearly coming to tears after selling off his modern art collection for millions of dollars was particularly nauseating. How that dude from Suicidal Tendencies hasn't kicked all your asses yet is beyond me.
And it doesn't end there either. You even opened up for the Rolling Stones a few times. If 50 year old businessmen can stand your music, you're washed up.
So where are you now Metallica? My guess is that you're cryogenically frozen somewhere deep inside the underground MTV bunker next to Puff Daddy and Ashley Simpson only to be thawed out twice a year for VMA appearances and the like. There's always hope though. I'm sure there's a reality show in the making.

[il ragno]

Smoking PCP myself right about now..... to burn the memory of "mancherry ring" out of my mind forever.

[Intrepid]

Erase that crap, you sick, fucking deviant.

[Jimbo Gomez]

Hey Blaphbee, I deleted that filthy post. Please don't post such sickening crap again.

[il ragno]

I wasn't crazy about it either - but let's not dump on Blaphbee, who is otherwise a fine poster in good standing.

[cerberus]

Satans Little Helper is right , it has to " The Artist formerly known as Prince"
A tosser of the first order, he could be " Emily Howards new TV in training".
I would like to be in his firing squad , to throw the cream buns.

[Jimbo Gomez]

I wasn't crazy about it either - but let's not dump on Blaphbee, who is otherwise a fine poster in good standing.

I merely asked him not to post crap like that again.

[Blaphbee]

Sorry about that fellas, I actually thought it might get a laugh or two.

:o

It's all true though.

[Péter]

But who can resist Lars, with such sweet, succulent lips? :rofl:

http://www.nndb.com/people/467/000024395/pic25b-red.jpg


And he likes taking it from behind, too! :hump:

http://www.chartattack.com/pics/2000/juldec/20000712-larsulrich.jpg

[Draco]

Garth Brooks is annoying, anyone remember his alter-ego Chris Gaines?

Just for fun, I tried Chris Gaines in Wikipedia...holy shit.

Chris Gaines is a fictional rock singer, created as an alter ego by Garth Brooks. Gaines appeared in the album Garth Brooks In ... The Life of Chris Gaines, released in October 1999 and in a television mockumentary and on Saturday Night Live at around the same time. A film named The Lamb, which was also to feature Gaines, was cancelled. Some say this was because public reaction to the album was poor, however, others argue that it was a hit (more than three million copies were sold) and Brooks was just tired of all the criticism from the press. Record stores were confused as to whether the album should be filed under "G" or in the "B's" with other Garth Brooks albums.

As the story goes, Gaines was born in 1967 in Australia to a pair of Olympic swimmers. He dropped out of his high school to form a band called Crush, which released a popular song called "My Love Tells Me So", being inspired by, not surprisingly, the work of Garth Brooks. After a band member died in a plane crash, Gaines was dormant for several years before releasing a solo album, Straight Jacket, which remained in the Billboard Top 40 for 82 weeks and won four Grammys. Gaines then was involved in a serious car accident and required numerous plastic surgeries over the next two years, before releasing two more solo albums and being declared "the new Prince".

Christ thats sad.

[il ragno]

I can handle pretentious; I can even handle idiotic; but "Chris Gaines the Emo Cowpoke" was mega-embarrassing.

[Basil Fawlty]

Have Emerson, Lake and Palmer been mentioned yet?

[WFHermans]

Or Alanis Morrissette (sp.?)