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View Poll Results: Which of these cults would you join?
Cult of the Luckiest Acme 2 7.14%
The Buttons Cult 5 17.86%
The Santa Barbara Cute Club 2 7.14%
The Sky Musk Cult 4 14.29%
Cult of the Starland Musk 5 17.86%
Cult of the All-Seeing Eye 7 25.00%
The Real Cult 4 14.29%
Cult of the Aryan Masterpieces 8 28.57%
Cult of the Money Magnets 1 3.57%
Cult of the C.N.N. 2 7.14%
Cult of the Psy-Op Smarty Pants 3 10.71%
Cult of the Land 'O Grokken 5 17.86%
Cult of the Sardonicats 6 21.43%
Men of the Momentary Mammacious 2 7.14%
Cult XV 5 17.86%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 28. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 09-23-2007, 04:52 AM
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Mentious Mentious is offline
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Default Fifteen New Cults -- What's Happening to Our World???

I'm introducing, or starting, 15 new cults. This is very serious. If any of you are interested in joining any of them, write me. I am an agent for a few of them. Here are their names and a little that is known about them:

Cult of the Luckiest Acme
(Has to do with parties. Must get instructions from leader monthly)

The Buttons Cult
(Has to do with buttons, only active on Saturdays. No girls allowed. Under investigation. Must smoke.)

The Santa Barbara Cute Club
(Activities still secret)

The Sky Musk Cult
(Not sure yet.)

Cult of the Starland Musk
(The Sky Musk Cult at night.)

Cult of the All-Seeing Eye
(Secretly taped at meeting: "Our purpose is to scare Big Brother out of his wits.")

The Real Cult
(Has to do with golfing at miniature golf courses)

The Sirius Cult
(Secretly stands for "serious." Pretends to be under investigation, activities unknown.)

Cult of the Aryan Masterpieces
Studies and celebrates statues and stuff. Secret meetings in art museums.

Cult of the Money Magnets
Secret prosperity teachings from occult analysis of Hollywood movie "Ten Faces of Dr. Lou."

Cult of the C.N.N.
Means Cult of Naysaying Namers. Possibly a government cult, but no proof.

Cult of the Psy-Op Smarty Pants
(Miscellaneous occult practices and mantras. Guru/manager is strictly east Indian. No meat, ever.)

Cult of the Land 'O Grokken
Geomancy and futurism. Worships 10 intellectuals and believes in "The Ten Ahksterisms." Under investigation.

Cult of the Sardonicats
Male fans of female internet posters on racialist sites. Ablsolutely no smoking (except in the men's parlor) or cussing.

Men of the Momentary Mammacious (The MMM)
Doesn't have the word "cult," but it has been definitely been identified as a cult by the Cult of the C.N.N. Beliefs are a dark secret. Special coming soon on Courtroom T.V.

Cult 15
(No information presently available.)

Tell me if you are interested in joining any of these subcultures. This is very important for cult-ural regeneration and cult-ivating new cult-ure and stuff.

Julian

Last edited by Mentious : 09-24-2007 at 04:07 AM.
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  #2  
Old 09-23-2007, 05:06 AM
Kuniklo Nigra Kuniklo Nigra is offline
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Default Sign me up.

I'd like some literature on The Sky Musk Cult.
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  #3  
Old 09-23-2007, 05:10 AM
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Mentious Mentious is offline
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Very good. We will get you information very soon through the secret Sky Musk Cult network. We are still looking for a leader for this cult. (He wandered off while involved in sky funny-business.) But we haven't told anybody yet that he's indisposed. We have put out inquiries to some of the government cults to see if they have any used ones (cult leaders) available having sky dealings, to replace this leader, because he is now possibly disgraced.

Stand by for your secret instructions please. Please send us your PGP (pretty darned good privacy) to receive your secret Sky Musk Cult greeting via enkripted emayl. (Those are cult spellings. Do not be alarmed.)
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  #4  
Old 09-23-2007, 06:36 AM
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Helios Panoptes Helios Panoptes is offline
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The golf one, but I will only join if the following two conditions are met: 1) we play at night; 2) we will all be on LSD when we play.
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There is an ancient story that King Midas hunted in the forest a long time for the wise Silenus, the companion of Dionysus, without capturing him. When Silenus at last fell into his hands, the king asked what was the best and most desirable of all things for man. Fixed and immovable, the demigod said not a word, till at last, urged by the king, he gave a shrill laugh and broke out into these words: "O wretched ephemeral race, children of chance and misery, why do you compel me to tell you what it would be most expedient for you not to hear? What is best of all is utterly beyond your reach: not to be born, not to be, to be nothing. But the second best for you is -- to die soon." ~The Birth of Tragedy
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  #5  
Old 09-23-2007, 06:43 AM
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Mentious Mentious is offline
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Profound choice. The "Real Cult" is a very important cult. They are involved with subversive activities too profound to discuss. They also golf at miniature golf courses.

Bide your time, please the cult, and try to work your way up in the ranks. At that time, it's possible you could take it over and work your will. That would be my advice.

But I would suggest that you might fit in with Cult of the Luckiest Acme too, in case you had a falling out with the Real Cult. They basically do special parties according to certain rules.

Last edited by Mentious : 09-23-2007 at 07:37 AM.
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  #6  
Old 09-23-2007, 12:21 PM
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Winston Winston is offline
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Cult 15 (No information presently available.) sounds intriguing. Sign me up.
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  #7  
Old 09-23-2007, 01:16 PM
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Don Quixote Don Quixote is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Helios Panoptes
The golf one, but I will only join if the following two conditions are met: 1) we play at night; 2) we will all be on LSD when we play.
If these conditions are met, sign me up.
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  #8  
Old 09-23-2007, 01:43 PM
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Jimbo Gomez Jimbo Gomez is offline
tired of this crap
 
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Can I be a fatcat in the CNN cult?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by il ragno
"I joined the Phora to laugh at niggers, post animated grave-dancing .gifs every time a Jew dies, and read skinhead how-to manuals on unprovoked eye-gougings in a circumspect and dignified manner - to take part in high-brow discussion, in other words. I did NOT sign on to be insulted!"

Alas, it turns out that French iconoclasts are every bit as knock-kneed as ..well....every other kind of Frenchman. But at least when you bent over, ass up, for Germany, they at least had tanks to scare you with.
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  #9  
Old 09-23-2007, 04:27 PM
Lieutenant William Bligh Lieutenant William Bligh is offline
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I am extremely confused. I have a slow sense there is some kind of inside joke behind each one of these.
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  #10  
Old 09-23-2007, 05:19 PM
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Mentious Mentious is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by General Jack D. Ripper
Can I be a fatcat in the CNN cult?
They are very secretive. But I will pass your request along to the one member, who I glimpsed in the park last autumn, if I ever see him again. At least I think he was a member. He was acting very suspiciously. It's possible they will contact you. Some think it secretly stands for "Cult of The Nefarious Nachos," so there's no way of telling what you're getting into...
Quote:
Originally Posted by integrity
Cult 15 (No information presently available.) sounds intriguing. Sign me up.
Cult 15 is extremely difficult to join.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lieutenant William Bligh
I am extremely confused. I have a slow sense there is some kind of inside joke behind each one of these.
Well I see you have applied to join six of them anyway. That should keep you pretty busy. No, this is very serious. Cults are a serious problem don'tcha know. Have you no culture or what?

Last edited by Mentious : 09-24-2007 at 04:08 AM.
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